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Love will never reject others. It is the first to encourage and the last to condemn. |
Behavior
Toddlers Who Run Instead of Come! Sometimes when toddlers refuse to “come” out the door with us, we may say, “If you don’t come by the time I count to three, I’m leaving without you. One . . Two . . Two and a half . . . I mean it this time.” Relying on the fear of abandonment teaches children that significant people in their lives will leave them if they do not do what they say. Children who already feel the pains of abandonment don’t need any more coals heaped unto their burning fire. Switch your thinking from fear of abandonment to the love of playfulness. Say, “Where did Melissa go? I have lost her. Is she in my shoe? Up my sleeve? Is she in this cup? No. Goodness, I have lost her.” Pretend to cry and say, “Where could she be?” As the child approaches and says “Here I am,” respond by saying, “There you are” Then ask the child if she brought her thumb with her. As she shows you her thumb hold onto it. Then hold the child’s hand and walk or carry her out the door. The message sent to this child is I care about you and if you were gone I would be deeply sad.A two-year-old refuses to eat anything. Meals are a battleground. Everything that goes in comes spitting out. You may as well wear a raincoat to the highchair. If this is a child who has been prenatally exposed to alcohol or other chemicals it is wise to see a dentist. Some of these children are born lacking full enamel on their teeth. Hot, cold and sweet tastes may send them spitting and screaming in pain. No matter how much your child drives you crazy, try to be accepting, curious, empathetic, loving and playful. Dan Hughes If it is on, I must turn it off If it is off, I must turn it on If it is folded, I must unfold it If it is liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled If it is a solid, it must be crumpled, chewed and smeared If it is high, it must be reached If it is shelved, it must be unshelved If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed If it has leaves, they must be picked If it is plugged, it must be unplugged If it is not trashed, it must be thrown away If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected and thrown on the floor If it is closed, it must be opened If it does not open, it must be screamed at If it has drawers, they must be rifled If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor or table If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied If it is empty, it will be more interesting full If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon If it is a stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone If it is paper, it must be torn If it has buttons, they must be pressed If the volume is low, it must go high If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon If it is not a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force If it is a phone, I must talk on it If it is a bug, I must swallow it If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor If it is not food, it must be tasted If it IS food, it must NOT be tasted If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back If it is Mommy, it must be hugged |
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Foster and Adoptive Care Association
of Minnesota |
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