• Ode to Special Parents
• 101 Ways to Make a Difference in Your Community

Ode To Special Parents
By Dave    November 13, 2002

How many parents‚ are their child’s legs when they can’t walk, their voice when they can’t speak, their ears when they can’t listen, their hands when they can’t write, their eyes when they can’t read, their best friend when they have no friends, their shield when they have no defense, and see the best in them when others see the worse?

How many parents‚ in a heart beat, have repeatedly placed themselves in harms way?  Ignoring their child’s yelling and screaming (which leaves their ears ringing), spitting, kicking, hitting, scratching and biting (which draws their own blood).  

Parents who frantically tried to restrain their child, while desperately trying to protect their child’s head by sacrificing their own body.  Parents who faced the horror of their child’s self-destructive suicidal rage cycle that left both child and parent crumpled in a heap on the floor, physically exhausted and emotionally devastated.  Time healed the physical wounds, but the emotional scars stay with you forever.

How many parents‚ in order to just survive, learned enough about medications to work in a pharmacy, learned enough about psychiatry to work in a clinic, learned enough about educational law to be a law office paralegal, and learned enough about school district policy to be on the school board?

How many parents‚ have been called so often by the school to come pickup their child that they are now sensitized whenever the phone rings in the middle of the day?  Between the first ring and when they pickup the receiver, dozens of scenarios run through their heads about what has gone wrong.  Ironically the call may not even be from the school.

How many parents‚  learn not all schools are created equal?  Some schools that focus on test scores with an inflexible, ‘one size fits all‚’ and ‘drill and kill’ approach may not be an appropriate fit.  Schools where kids, teachers, and administration show compassion, understanding, and flexibility maybe an environment where their child can thrive.

How many parents‚  have not been able to find an appropriate school and thus have put their own lives and careers on hold, or even sacrificed them, in order to provide their child with an enriching and supportive home environment free from abuse?

How many parents‚  have the tremendous courage to allow their child to fail, going against every instinct, against every fiber of their being, in order to demonstrate their child will be left behind if appropriate school accommodations and services are not provided?

How many parents‚  can give and give and give even more, and never receive anything in return because their child lives in their own little egocentric isolated world?

How many parents‚  suffered the unbelievable cruelty of comments from friends and family about the poor behavior of their child or their poor parenting skills, when these well meaning friends and family don’t understand what it takes to parent a special needs child?  Comments that felt like a hot poker piercing their already battered and abused heart and self-esteem.

How many parents‚  found the inner strength to pull themselves out of the deepest, darkest hole of frustration, depression, and loss, in order to fight another day, because the light leading the way for a better future may flicker and dim, but refuses to die?

How many parents‚  experienced the heartache of seeing their child struggle tying their shoelaces and a minute later be totally baffled and awed when the same child comments; the question isn’t if the chicken or egg came first, but the plant or the seed?  Or have kids who spend most of their time in resource rooms, special day classes, or sitting in the principal’s office and still score 99% across the board on standardized tests?

How many parents‚  have the pleasure of working side by side with remarkable teachers and administrators who fight the same fight as you do, who do it for the love of the job, but are faced with a fixed budget, or worse yet a shrinking budget, while the population of special needs kids continues to grow and grow?

How many parents‚  experience the knowledge, caring, and loving found within local and cyber support groups where information is freely shared, where mutual respect is never questioned, where fellow members will come to your defense with the passion of a ‘mother bear.’ where you can turn when it appears all hope is lost, and where you were made to laugh when you so desperately wanted to cry?

How many parents‚  have felt their body shutter and a chill run up their spine, their throat tighten constricting their voice, their heart boom in their chest as if it would explode, and tears well up in their eyes, blinding them as they experience the bittersweet agony and ecstasy of seeing their child experience the little things that come so naturally to other kids, but are truly miraculous for our kids? 

Such experiences as the first steps (when the child has no legs or lost their use), first words (when a child’s mind is trapped in an Autistic world), first story read (when dyslexia makes words constantly move and change), first paper (when dysgraphia makes forming letters painful, slow, and individually), first play date that felt safe (when previously ‘friends‚’ only teased, bullied, or physically abused), and the first unscripted‚ ‘hug’ and ‘I love you‚’ come from their child.

How many parents‚ have learned anyone can love a child who’s perfect, somebody who does everything right?   But that doesn’t stretch your soul.  Your soul only gets stretched when you can still love somebody after they hurt you. [Susan Phillips]

How many parents‚ truly understand the pain it caused, the cost incurred, the heroic efforts it took, and at the same time, the joy it brought to unconditionally love their special child and demonstrate that love through actions, not just words, in the past, during the present, and forever in the future?

How many parents‚  learned the painful lesson?  One voice will not be heard, two voices may get their attention, but only the voice of many will enact  change.  The voice whose message will be heard loud and clear. The voice whose wishes will not be denied!

So take my hand and join me on this greatest of all journeys and I promise, TOGETHER WE WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Finally, how many parents‚  have been applauded for their parenting skills, their efforts, their strength, their courage, and their dedication; the best humanity has to offer?

101 Ways to Make a Difference in Your Community
any Family/Child Can Create Positive Change!
by Youth Service America

Young people are serving their communities at record numbers. Last year, 13 million teens gave 2.4 billion hours of service back to their communities. If you want to be a part of the Declaration Generation, here are some ideas for how you can make a difference.

• Help teach a younger child to read.

• Help cook and/or serve a meal at a homeless shelter.

• Gather clothing from your neighbors and donate it to a local shelter.

• Make 'I Care' kits with combs, toothbrushes, shampoo, etc. for the homeless.

• Pack and hand out food at a local food bank.

• Adopt a 'grandfriend' and write them letters and visit them.

• Visit senior citizens at a nursing home.

• Rake leaves, shovel snow, clean gutters, or wash windows for a senior citizen.

• Pick up groceries or medicine for an elderly person.

• Go for a walk with a senior citizen in your community.

• Deliver meals to homebound individuals.

• Hold an afternoon dance for your local nursing home.

• Teach a senior friend how to use a computer and the Internet.

• Paint a mural over graffiti.

• Invite local police officers to present a drug awareness or safety presentation.

• Tutor a student that needs help learning English or some other subject.

• Organize a canned goods drive.

• Clean up a vacant lot or park.

• Organize a campaign to raise money to purchase and install playground equipment.

• Plant flowers in public areas that could use some color.

• Volunteer to help at a Special Olympics event.

• Set up a buddy system for kids with special needs in your community.

• Raise money for Braille books for visually impaired people.

• Read books or the newspaper on tape for visually impaired people.

• Bring toys to children in the cancer ward of a hospital.

• Contact your local political representative about key issues.

• Register people to vote.

• Organize a public issues forum for your neighborhood.

• Volunteer at a polling booth the day of an election.

• Take a friend to the polling booths.

• Vote / Campaign

• Offer to pass out election materials.

• Plant a garden or tree where the whole neighborhood can enjoy it.

• Set up a recycling system for your home.

• Organize a carpooling campaign in your neighborhood.

• Adopt an acre of a rainforest.

• Clean up trash along a river, beach, or in a park.

• Create a habitat for wildlife.

• Create a campaign to encourage biking and walking.

• Test the health of the water in your local lakes, rivers, and streams.

• Contact your local volunteer center for opportunities to serve.

• Volunteer at your local animal shelter.

• Help build a home with Habitat for Humanity.

• Walk a neighbor's dog or pet sit while they are on vacation.

• Teach Sunday school.

• Learn to be a peer counselor.

• Send a letter to one of America's veterans or overseas soldiers.

• Volunteer at your local youth center.

• Participate in a marathon for your favorite charity.

• Become a candy striper at your local hospital.

• Mentor a young person.

• Serve your country by joining AmeriCorps.

• Become a volunteer firefighter or EMT.

• Donate books to your local library.

• Donate clothes to the Salvation Army.

• Start a book club in your area.

• Adopt a pet from the Humane Society.

• Hold a door open for someone.

• Give up your seat on the bus or train to someone.

• Donate your old computer to a school.

• Give blood.

• Coach a children's sports team

• Become an organ donor.

• Teach a dance class.

• Participate in Job Shadow Day (February 2).

• Organize a project for National Youth Service Days (April 26-28, 2002)

• Volunteer on a hotline.

• Meet with local representatives from your area.

• Don't drink and drive.

• Listen to others.

• Write a letter to the editor about an issue you care about.

• Learn First Aid.

• Shop at local, family owned businesses.

• Become a Big Brother or Big Sister.

• Take a historical tour of your area about your community.

• Write a note to a teacher that had a positive effect on you.

• Get together with some friends to buy holiday presents for a family at a shelter.

• Recycle.

• Drive responsibly.

• Get CPR and First Aid certification.

• Don't litter.

• Shop responsibly.

• Don't spread or start gossip.

• Tell a custodian that you appreciate him/her.

• Hold a teddy bear drive for foster children, fire victims, etc.

• Make a care package for an elderly or shut-in person.

• Teach at an adult literacy center.

• Sing for residents at a nursing home.

• Befriend a new student or neighbor.

• Babysit.

• Look for the good in all people.

• Coordinate a book drive.

• Donate money to your favorite charity.

• Make quilts or baby clothes for low-income families.

• Bake cookies and bring them to your local fire hall or police station.

• Donate toys or suitcases to foster children.

• When visiting someone in a hospital, talk to someone that doesn't have many visitors.

• Around the holidays, visit the Post Office and answer some letters to Santa.

• Start a neighborhood welcome committee.

• Visit www.SERVEnet.org to find volunteer opportunities in your area.

Content Provided by: Youth Service America  SERVEnet.org is the premier website on service and volunteering. Through SERVEnet, users can enter their zip code, city, state, skills, interests, and availability and be matched with organizations needing help.  SERVEnet is also a place to search for calendar events, job openings, service news, recommended books, and best practices.

YSA's commitment to America's Promise is to have volunteer opportunities on SERVEnet for every zip code in America.

SERVEnet is a program of Youth Service America(YSA), a resource center and the premier alliance of 200+ organizations committed to increasing the quantity and quality of opportunities for young Americans to serve locally, nationally, or globally. YSA's mission is to strengthen the Effectiveness, Sustainability, and Scale of the youth service movement. YSA envisions a powerful network of organizations committed to making service the common experience and expectation of all young Americans. A strong youth service movement will create healthy communities, and foster citizenship, knowledge, and the personal development of young people.