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Love will never reject others. It is the first to encourage and the last to condemn. We are just one hue in the
vast rainbow —Deb Bushaway, parent. |
Self-Esteem
Teaching Young Children to Resist Bias Building self-identity and skills for social interaction are two major tasks in early childhood. Gradually, young children begin to figure out how they are the same and different from other people, and how they feel about the differences. What children learn in the preschool years greatly influences whether they will grow up to value, accept, and comfortably interact with diverse people or whether they will succumb to the biases that result in, or help to justify unfair treatment of an individual because of her or his identity. Research tells us that between ages two and five, children become aware of gender, race, ethnicity, and disabilities. They also become sensitive to both the positive attitudes and negative biases attached to these four key aspects of identity, by their family and by society in general. Young children develop "pre-prejudice": misconceptions, discomfort, fear, and rejection of differences that may develop into real prejudice if parents and teachers do not intervene.
Many adults find it hard to accept that two-, three-, and four-year-olds actually make these kinds of comments. They would prefer to believe that young children are blissfully unaware of the differences between people upon which prejudice and discrimination on are based. But young children not only recognize differences, they also absorb values about which differences are positive and which are not. How we as parents and teachers react to the ideas that young children express will greatly affect the feelings they will form. If we want children to like themselves and to value diversity, then we must learn how to help them resist the biases and prejudice that are still far too prevalent in our society. How bias influences children’s development Bias based on gender, race, handicap, or social class creates serious obstacles to all young children’s healthy development. When areas of experience are gender stereotyped and closed to children simply because of their sex, neither boys nor girls are fully prepared to deal intellectually or emotionally with the realities and demands of everyday life. "Handicapism" severely harms children with disabilities by limiting access to the educational experiences necessary for well-rounded development. It also prevents non-disabled children from knowing and comfortably interacting with different types of people and teaches a false and anxiety-inducing sense of superiority based on their not being disabled. Racism attacks the very sense of self for children of color. It creates serious obstacles to their obtaining the best education, health care and employment. Racism also teaches white children a false sense of superiority and distorts their perceptions of reality. Thus they are not equipped to fairly and productively interact with more than half of the world’s humanity. The "isms" interfere as well with society. Provide books, dolls, toys, wall decorations (paintings, drawings, photographs), TV programs and records that reflect diverse images that children may not likely see elsewhere in:
Show that you value diversity in the friends you choose and in the people and firms you choose for various services (e.g., doctor, dentist, car mechanic, teachers, stores). Remember that what you do is as important as what you say. Make it a firm rule that a person’s identity is never an acceptable reason for teasing or rejecting them. Immediately step in if you hear or see your child engage in such behavior. Make it clear that you disapprove, but do not make your child feel rejected. Support the child who has been hurt. Try to find out what underlies the biased behavior. If the reason is a conflict about another issue, help your child understand the real reason for the conflict and find a way to resolve it. If the underlying reason is discomfort with or fear or ignorance about the other child’s differences, plan to initiate activities to help overcome negative feelings. Initiate activities and discussions to build positive self-identity and to teach the value of differences among people. Educate yourself about common stereotypes in our society so that you can evaluate your selection of children’s materials and experiences. Whenever possible, either remove those containing biased messages, or learn to use such material to teach children about the difference between "fair" and "true" images and those that are "unfair" and "untrue" and that hurt people’s feelings. Talk positively about each child’s physical characteristics and cultural heritage. Tell stories about people from your ethnic group of whom you are especially proud. Include people who have stood up against bias and injustice. Encourage children to explore different kinds of materials and activities that go beyond traditional gender behaviors. Help children learn the differences between feelings of superiority and feelings of self-esteem and pride in their heritage. Provide opportunities for children to interact with other children who are racially/culturally different from themselves and with people who have various disabilities. lf your neighborhood does not provide these opportunities, search for them in school, after-school activities, weekend programs, places of worship and day camps. Visit museums and attend concerts and cultural events that reflect diverse heritages as well as your own. Respectfully listen to and answer children’s questions about themselves and others. Do not ignore or sidestep questions, change the subject, or admonish the child for asking a question. These responses suggest that what a child is asking is bad. However, do not over-respond. Answer all questions in a direct, matter-of-fact and brief manner. Listen carefully to what children want to know and what they are feeling. Teach children how to challenge biases about who they are. By the time children are four years old, they become aware of biases directed against aspects of their identity. This is especially true for children of color, children with disabilities, and children who don’t fit stereotypic gender norms. Be sensitive to children’s feelings about themselves and immediately respond when they indicate any signs of being affected by biases. Give your children tools to confront those who act biased against them. Teach children to recognize stereotypes and caricatures of different groups. Young children can become adept at spotting "unfair" images of themselves and others if they are helped to think critically about what they see in books, movies, greeting cards, and comics, and on TV. Use accurate and fair images in contrast to stereotypic ones, and encourage children to talk about the differences. For example, at Thanksgiving time greeting cards that show animals dressed up as "Indians" and a stereotypic image of an "Indian" child with buckskins and feather headdress abound. Talk about how it is hurtful to people’s feelings to show them looking like animals, or to show them portrayed inaccurately. Read good children’s books to show the reality and the variety of Native American peoples. As children get older, you can also help them learn about how stereotypes are used to justify injustice, such as lower wages, poor housing and education, etc. Let children know that unjust things can be changed. Encourage children to challenge bias, and give them skills appropriate to their age level. First, set an example by your own actions. Intervene when children engage in discriminatory behavior, support your children when they challenge bias directed against themselves and others, encourage children to identify and think critically about stereotypic images, and challenge adult-biased remarks and jokes—all methods of modeling anti-bias behavior. Involve children in taking action on issues relevant to their lives.
As you involve children in this type of activity, be sure to discuss the issues with them and talk to them about the reasons for taking action. Keep in mind that developing a healthy identity and understanding of others is a long term process. While the early years lay an essential foundation, learning continues throughout childhood and into adulthood and will take many different forms. Children will change their thinking and feelings many times. This article is reprinted with permission from the authors, Louise Derman-Sparks, Maria Gutierrez and Carol Brunson Phillips, from "Teaching Young Children to Resist Bias: What Parents Can Do," (1989, NAEYC), Also reprinted in Newsline, September 1994, published by the Greater Minneapolis of Day Care Associations, 1628 Elliot Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55404. Priceless Gifts Can Build Self-Esteem
As care givers, remember the many priceless gifts to share with those in your care. . .
These priceless gifts will help to build a better self-esteem in family members and educate them to celebrate the blessings they already possess. Reprinted from “Caring and Sharing,” no. 108, December 1989, published by Washington County Community Social Services. |
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Foster and Adoptive Care Association
of Minnesota |
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