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“To the world you may be but one
person, but to one person you may be the world.”
Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see.
“A friend is one to
whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike.
Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take it and sift it, keep what is
worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.” |
Support
People who have disabilities, neurological issues, chronic disease or degenerative issues may need ongoing support. The support may come in many of ways from sympathetic listening, holding hands in silence, practical help with eating, exercise to transportation. How can you be a Super Supporter without burning yourself out or disappointing the person you have made a commitment to? Walk a day in their shoes While you may never know exactly how it feels, you can get the idea by spending a full day helping to provide care. If the person has diabetes, learn how to check her feet, prick her finger and test for blood glucose level or give an insulin injection. It gives your friend some relieve from the day-to-day self care, shows your interest in helping her manage her disease and helps you gain a better understanding of how she feels. Learn all you can Take a class, watch a video, read a book to learn as much as you can about what to expect medically and emotionally, and why changes this person is trying to make are important to their overall health and well being. Be a super supporter
Enjoy life together
Celebrate milestones -- even small ones!
QUIZ 1. Do you discuss how the person feels about having this condition?
2. Do you offer help with grocery shopping, cooking, yard work, car maintenance or other household chores if they are unable to do them or time restricted? ___no 0 ___yes 3 3. Do you make an effort to educate yourself about issues affecting this person? ___no 0 ___yes 10 4. Do you share exercise, nutritious eating and encouragement with this person? ___rarely 0 ___once a month 1 ___several times a month 4 5. Do you talk with the person about how his or her issues also affect your life? There are both positives and negatives. ___never 0 ___sometimes 5 ___regularly 10 6. Do you believe in the person’s ability to manage his or her issues and praise lifestyle changes that have been made? ___no 0 ___yes 10 Support Quiz Score Add up your points from page 13. If your score is: Less than 15: You are a So So Supporter. People with chronic diseases and other issues need lots of support to help them succeed. Try using a couple of our tips on page 13. 15-29: You’re a Solid Support. You provide enough support for some of the day-to-day living with the issue. Want to do even better. Talk with the person who has the issue about how they are feeling and how you’re feeling about the impact on your lifestyle. Keep providing them words of encouragement. 30 or more: You’re a Super Supporter. Keep up your efforts to support others as they cope with their long-term complicated issues. Tips for Explaining Possible Disabilities Possible employment disability. . .What you can say. . . When to say it Alcoholism/Chemical dependency When it was a problem, what you learned from the problem, sobriety for how long. Stress new goals and capabilities. Possibly in interview, especially if it might come out in work history or reference checks Depression/Emotional problems When it was a problem, that it is under control, what you have learned to avoid it happening again–coping skills. Stress new goals and capabilities. You may wish to avoid mentioning a one-time occurrence unless this is likely to come out in work history or reference checks. If this is an ongoing problem for you, it should be mentioned during the interview. Felony conviction When it occurred and possibly why, what happened, what you learned from your mistake. Show regret, remorse. Stress new goals and capabilities. Possibly in interview, especially if you are asked, or if it might come out in work history or reference checks. You are required to answer honestly. Learning problems What learning problems you have, how you have learned to work around these problems, special efforts you’ve made to improve skills. Stress goals and capabilities. In interview, especially if it might be obvious or your job might require you to do something that would be difficult for you. Physical restrictions What the physical problem is–educate the employer. What your specific limitations are–stress that you will not exceed them. Describe ways you have learned to adapt physically. Adaptations that could be made on the job to enable you to do the work. Stress goals and capabilities. In the interview, even if the employer does not bring up the subject. Educate and put him or her at ease with your comfort dealing openly with the issue. Poor work record Explain why poor record of employment–take responsibility for it. Do not blame others- especially former employers. State what you have learned and why you would stay with this company. Stress your stability and capability. In the interview, as it will be obvious from your work history. Possibly could be briefly mentioned in a cover letter accompanying job application and/or resume. Reprinted with permission from “The Advocate,” July 1998, published by Olmsted County Community Action Program, 1421 SE 3rd Ave., Rochester, MN 55904. Developing a Supporting Environment When individuals are viewed as competent, they typically are accepted more readily into an environment. Being competent at what one does also allows people to access many benefits, such as job advancement, educational opportunities, and satisfying relationships. “Competence” is judged within the context of an environment. Being considered competent in one environment, such as when someone consistently hits home runs on a baseball team, does not mean the same person would be considered competent in another environment, such as a member of a spacecraft launching crew. Competence must be promoted, supported, accepted, and maintained within an environment. Competence can often be increased by promoting social acceptance, identifying and promoting a person’s interests and strengths, increasing environmental supports and increasing social support.People with disabilities are people first. To the Editor: That might seem like an unnecessary statement, but comments referring to ‘handicapped people’ and ‘disabled people’ put the person second, and a condition first. The American’s with Disabilities Act isn’t the ‘Disabled American’s Act’. When referring to a person with disabilities it is proper to put the person first. We tend to relegate persons with disabilities to second class status, and the continual reinforcement of their differences allows us to forget that we are in many ways the same. We cannot allow our differences to define and limit us. We may not all express ourselves in the same way but we all express affection and anger. We may not all walk through our lives on two feet, but we all manage to maneuver from place to place. The person in a wheelchair still goes shopping. The person with developmental disabilities still enjoys eating out. We all are unique people with unique and wonderful strengths, and with weaknesses for which we learn to compensate as much as possible. I wear glasses. My grandfather used a hearing aid. My mom and dad have false teeth. Our differences are socially acceptable and not worthy of comment. It’s natural to use the forms of language with which we are familiar. It’s difficult to make adjustments based on changing social values. Just think about ethnic descriptions for a minute. Terms that were acceptable not too long ago are recognized as bigoted and inappropriate now. The same changing social norms apply to persons with disabilities. From now on let’s all make a conscious effort to keep the person first when we write and talk. After all, people with disabilities are people first. Kristen L Gorden |
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Foster and Adoptive Care Association
of Minnesota |
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