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Apathy will be interpreted as acceptance. Do something in the face of hatred. Hate events are rarely isolated. Take seriously even the smallest hint of hate. |
Diversity
It’s all about respectful questions and answers. The work begins in our homes talking with the children we care for with respect and understanding. By doing this they will begin to learn two basic skills needed to navigate a world of differences. 1. The ability and willingness to ask questions: to be comfortable and sensitive enough to formulate questions about what they do not know about people who are different from themselves. Teach children in your care that each person is an individual and asking a question like “How do -----s (add your group) think about -----” is a biased question. One disabled person cannot answer for all just as one teen cannot answer for all teens. If they have a question have them fill in another groups name to see if this is an appropriate question. Ask them what would make them be comfortable to answer such a question, discuss body language, level of friendship and tone of voice. 2. The ability and willingness to give answers: to be comfortable and knowledgeable about themselves, their culture and their heritage to provide information others may be seeking. Provide your child tactful ways to decline answering questions they do not want to answer. Provide opportunities for children in your care: factual cultural data and information, community cultural and ethnic events, biographies of people who have made a difference, and introductions to people with similarities in your community. Create special rituals in your family to celebrate family unity and also appreciate individual diversity. Join organizations where people of many differences come together for a common cause. Adapted from the book Hate Hurts, How Children Learn and Unlearn Prejudice. A Guide for Adults and Children, by Caryl Stern-LaRosa and Ellen Hofheimer BettmannEVERY HOUR - Someone commits a hate crime EVERY DAY - Eight blacks, three whites, three gays, three Jews and one latino become hate crime victims EVERY WEEK - A cross is burned. Are we losing the ground of tolerance we begin to plant in the 60’s and early 70’s? We share a world that is growing smaller everyday. For all our differences in politics, race, economics, abilities, cultures, religions and languages – we share one world. To be tolerant is to welcome the differences and delight in the sharing. To rejoice in the freedom of new cultures joining us in our American dance, just as so many of our ancestors did in choosing or not choosing to come to America. Including native cultures choosing to leave Asia so long long ago. Today I sat on the sofa and awarded my teens a “Certificate of Achievement”. Yesterday was a hard day for each of them. I was so frustrated with the shenanagans of neighbor teens I had to leave the house before I said something wrong or hurtful, to the very kids I care so much about. They had already been exposed to enough pain, enough hurt and enough game playing. The very kind of hurtful play that leads to violence – death, crime and suicide. With access to a telephone, even our home could not remain a safe refuge. What did these two teens achieve? They achieved my respect for sticking up for a crime victim and being brave enough to share the truth as they knew it and hand the problem over to adults to deal with. They achieved my respect for telling the truth when asked what they thought, even though the truth hurt. They received my respect for listening to truth from another even when that truth was painful and meant looking at themselves with different glasses. And they received my respect because they confronted deceit and brought light to the darkness. They struggled with their emotions and they won. They did not lower themselves to the behavior of the others. They chose the toughest route of all – choosing peace. Assessment Tool for Reading or T.V. Material
Sources: Council on Interracial Books for Children and Teaching Peace: How to Raise Children to Live in Harmony - Without Fear, Without Prejudice, Without Violence and Jan Arnow. 1995. Reprinted with permission from Peacemaker’s 16542 Orwell Road North Marine on St. Croix, MN 55047 – email us at peace@peacemaker.org – www.peacemaker.org. Building Tolerance - 101 Ideas Make a difference in your small
corner of the world. Perhaps someday all the corners will make a circle! Hate can only be conquered by citizen activists willing to promote tolerance. You may already be one of them. Our diverse foster, kinship and adoptive families to special children have an opportunity to make a difference – a huge difference, not just for our children but for future generations. During this summer season, while children celebrate freedom from school – teach the freedoms that are the right of every American. Encourage tolerance. Following are 101 ideas for promoting tolerance developed by the National Campaign for Tolerance, 400 Washington Avenue, Montgomery, AL 36104 (www.teachingtolerance.org and www.tolerance.org) The ideas will help foster tolerance in yourself, your family, your schools, your workplace and your community. Some of the ideas are things to do. Some are things to think about. Some are things to remember. What You Can Do! 1. Attend a play, listen to music or go to a dance performance by artists whose race or ethnicity is different from your own. 2. Volunteer at a local social services organization. 3. Attend services at a variety of churches, synagogues and temples to learn about different faiths. 4. Visit a local senior citizens center and collect oral histories. Donate large-print reading materials and books on tape. Offer to help with a craft project. 5. Shop at ethnic grocery stores and specialty markets. Get to know the owners. Ask about their family histories. 6. Participate in a diversity program. 7. Ask a person of another cultural heritage to teach you how to perform a traditional dance or cook a traditional meal. 8. Learn sign language. 9. Take a conversation course in another language that is spoken in your community. 10. Teach an adult to read. 11. Speak up when you hear slurs. Let people know that bias speech is always unacceptable. 12. Imagine what your life might be like if you were a person of another race, gender or sexual orientation. How might “today” have been different? 13. Take the How Tolerant are You? A Test of Hidden Bias. Enlist some friends to take this “hidden bias” test with you and discuss the results. 14. Take a Civil Rights history vacation. Tour key sites and museums. 15. Research your family history. Share information about your heritage in talks with others. 16. List all the stereotypes you can — positive and negative — about a particular group. Are these stereotypes reflected in your actions? 17. Think about how you appear to others. List personality traits that are compatible with tolerance (e.g., compassion, curiosity, openness). List those that seem incompatible with tolerance (e.g., jealousy, bossiness, perfectionism). 18. Create a “diversity profile” of your friends, co-workers and acquaintances. Set the goal of expanding it by next year. 19. Sign the Declaration of Tolerance on page 6 and return it to: The National
Campaign for Tolerance 20. Read a book or watch a movie about another culture. In Your Home! 21. Invite someone of a different background to join your family for a meal or holiday. 22. Give a multicultural doll, toy or game as a gift. 23. Assess the cultural diversity reflected in your home’s artwork, music and literature. Add something new. 24. Don’t buy playthings that promote or glorify violence. 25. Establish a high “comfort level” for open dialogue about social issues. Let children know that no subject is taboo. 26. Bookmark equity and diversity websites on your home computer. 27. Point out stereotypes and cultural misinformation depicted in movies, TV shows, computer games and other media. 28. Take the family to an ethnic restaurant. Learn about more than just the food. 29. Involve all members of the family in selecting organizations to support with charitable gifts. 30. Gather information about local volunteer opportunities and let your children select projects for family participation. 31. Play “action hero” with your children. Are the heroes all aggressive males? Help your children see the heroic qualities in those whose contributions often go unrecognized (e.g., nurses, bridge builders, volunteers in homeless shelters). 32. Affirm your children’s curiosity about race and ethnicity. Point out that people come in many shades. 33. Help young children make an illustrated list of what friends do or what friendship means. 34. Read books with multicultural and tolerance themes to your children. 35. Watch what you say in front of children when you’re angry. Curb your road rage. 36. Watch how you handle emotional issues with girls and boys. Do you attempt to distract crying boys but reassure crying girls? 37. Examine the “diversity profile” for your children’s friends. Expand the circle by helping your children develop new relationships. 38. Enroll your children in schools, daycare centers, after-school programs and camps that reflect and celebrate differences. 39. Participate in a Big Brother or Big Sister program. 40. Live in an integrated and economically diverse neighborhood. Ideas for School 41. Donate tolerance-related books, films, magazines and other materials to school libraries. Organize a book drive. 42. Buy art supplies for a local school. Sponsor a mural about the cultural composition and heritage of your community. 43. Volunteer to be an advisor for a student club. Support a wide range of extracurricular activities to help students “find their place” at school. 44. Coach a girls’ sports team. Encourage schools to provide equal resources for boys’ and girls’ athletics. 45. Sponsor a conflict resolution team. 46. Ask school counselors what resources they have for supporting gay and lesbian youth. Offer additional materials if necessary. 47. Assess your school’s compliance with the accessibility requirements of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Organize a class project to improve compliance. 48. Donate a tape recorder to a school that is conducting oral history projects. Suggest a focus on local struggles for civil rights. 49. Start a pen pal program. Get students in touch with people in different parts of the community, country or world. 50. Applaud the other team. Promote good sportsmanship and ban taunting. 51. Encourage schools to go beyond the “heroes and holidays” model to develop a rich, ongoing multicultural curriculum. Give Teaching Tolerance materials to educators in your community. 52. Provide confidential methods for students to report harassment or bullying. 53. Encourage school administrators to adopt Internet-use polices that address online hate, harassment and pornography. 54. Discourage the use of divisive school emblems. 55. Ensure that schools comply with the McKinney Act, the federal law mandating educational services for homeless children. 56. Create a bilingual (or multilingual) calendar highlighting school and community activities. 57. Invite bilingual students to give morning greetings and announcements on the PA system in their home languages. 58. Make sure that school cafeterias offer options for students and staff with dietary restrictions. 59. Celebrate “Someone Special Day” in addition to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Keep adoptive and foster students in mind when planning family-oriented programs. 60. Ask schools not to schedule tests or school meetings on the major holidays of any religious group. Develop a school calendar that respects religious diversity. Ideas for Work 61. Hold a “diversity potluck” lunch. Invite co-workers to bring dishes that reflect their cultural heritage. 62. Arrange a “box-lunch forum” on topics of diverse cultural and social interest. 63. Partner with a local school and encourage your colleagues to serve as tutors or mentors. 64. Sponsor a community-wide “I Have a Dream” essay contest. 65. Examine the degree of diversity at all levels of your workplace. Are there barriers that make it harder for people of color and women to succeed? Suggest ways to overcome them. 66. Cast a wide net when recruiting new employees. 67. Give everyone a chance for that promotion. Post all job openings. 68. Fight against the “just like me” bias — the tendency to favor those who are similar to ourselves. 69. Value the input of every employee. Reward managers who do. 70. Avoid singling out employees of a particular race or ethnicity to “handle” diversity issues on behalf of everyone else. 71. Vary your lunch partners. Seek out co-workers of different backgrounds, from different departments, and at different levels in the company. 72. Start a mentoring program that pairs veteran employees with newcomers. 73. Establish an internal procedure for employees to report incidents of harassment or discrimination. Publicize the policy widely. 74. Add social justice funds to 401(k) investment options. 75. Ensure that your workplace complies with the accessibility requirements of the Americans with Disabilities Act. 76. Push for equitable leave policies. Provide paid maternity and paternity leave. 77. Don’t close your door. Foster an open working environment. 78. Advocate for domestic partnership benefits. 79. Provide employees with paid leave to participate in volunteer projects. 80. Publicize corporate giving widely, and challenge other companies to match or exceed your efforts. In Your Community 81. Frequent minority-owned businesses and get to know the proprietors. 82. Participate in a blood drive, or clean up a local stream. Identify issues that reach across racial, ethnic and other divisions and forge alliances for tackling them. 83. Start a monthly “diversity roundtable” to discuss critical issues facing your community. Establish an equity forum. 84. Hold a community-wide yard sale and use the proceeds to improve a park or community center. Celebrate the event with a picnic. 85. Build a community peace garden. 86. Make copies of the Declaration of Tolerance encourage others to sign the pledge, and return it to: The National Campaign for Tolerance 87. Start a “language bank” of volunteer interpreters for all languages used in your community. 88. Encourage fellow members of your congregation to be tolerance activists. 89. Create a town website. 90. Host a “multicultural extravaganza” such as a food fair or art, fashion and talent show. 91. Create a mobile “street library” to make multicultural books and films widely available. 92. Establish an ecumenical alliance. Bring people of diverse faiths together for retreats, workshops or potluck dinners. Be welcoming to agnostics and atheists, too. 93. Write a letter to the editor if your local newspaper ignores any segment of the community or stories about cooperation and tolerance. 94. Start a campaign to establish a multicultural center for the arts. Ask local museums to hosts exhibits and events reflecting diversity at home and elsewhere. 95. Present a “disabilities awareness” event with the help of a local rehabilitation organization 96. Make sure that anti-discrimination protection in your community extends to gay and lesbian people. 97. Encourage law enforcement agencies to establish diversity training for all officers, to utilize community-based policing and to eliminate the use of inequitable tactics like racial profiling. 98. Give copies of our Intelligence Report to law enforcement agencies in your community. Do officers receive training about hate groups, hate crimes and domestic terrorism? 99. Order a free copy of Ten Ways to Fight Hate and become a community activist against hate groups and hate crime. 100. Conduct a “diaper equity” survey of local establishments. Commend managers who provide changing tables in men’s as well as women’s restrooms. 101. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Remember that the best ideas come out of the experiences of caring and committed individuals and communities. Email your best suggestions for promoting equity and celebrating diversity to us at campaign@tolerance.org. Or get out a piece of paper and a pen,
and mail your suggestions to: 10 Ways To
Work Against Hate 1. ACT Do something. In the face of hatred, apathy will be interpreted as acceptance — by the haters, the public and, worse, the victim. Decency must be exercised, too. If it isn't, hate invariably persists. “What can I, as Joe Citizen, do to help?" 2. UNITE Call a friend or co-worker. Organize a group of allies from churches, schools, clubs and other civic sources. Create a diverse coalition. Include children, police and the media. Gather ideas from everyone, and get everyone involved. Your instinct for tolerance is shared by others. There is power in numbers in the work against hate. Asking for help and organizing a group reduces personal fear and vulnerability, spreads the workload and increases creativity and impact. Coalitions for tolerance can stand up to organized hate groups and isolate them. A group can act as a clearinghouse for information and establish a positive tone. A hate crime often creates an opportunity for a community's first dialogue on race, homophobia or prejudice. It can help bridge the gap between neighborhoods and law enforcement. We think you'll be heartened by how many people want to act. As the creator of a group called Project Lemonade found, “There are plenty of people of good conscience out there.” 3. SUPPORT THE VICTIMS Hate-crime victims are especially vulnerable, fearful and alone. Let them know you care. Surround them with people they feel comfortable with. If you're a victim, report every incident and ask for help. Victims of hate crimes have been attacked for being who they are, and silence amplifies their isolation. They need a strong, quick message that they are valued. Small acts of kindness — a phone call, a letter — can help. 4. DO YOUR HOMEWORK - RESEARCH Determine if a hate group is involved, and research its symbols and agenda. Seek advice from anti-hate organizations. Accurate information can then be spread to the community. Know who and what you're fighting. Eruptions of hate generally produce one of two reactions: apathy (“it's just an isolated act of kooks”) or fear (“the world is out of control”). Before reacting, communities need accurate information about haters and their danger. 5. CREATE AN ALTERNATIVE Do NOT attend a hate rally. Find another outlet for anger and frustration and people’s desire to do something. Hold a unity rally or parade. Find a news hook, like a “hate-free zone.” 6. SPEAK UP You, too, have First Amendment rights. Hate must be exposed and denounced. Buy an ad. Help news organizations achieve balance and depth. Do not debate hate mongers in conflict-driven talk shows. Goodness has a First Amendment right, too. We urge you to denounce hate groups and hate crimes, and spread the truth about hate's threat to a pluralistic society. An informed community is the best defense against hate. 7. LOBBY LEADERS Persuade politicians, business and community leaders to take a stand against hate. Early action creates a positive reputation for the community, while unanswered hate will eventually be bad for business. The work against hate needs community leaders willing to take a stand. Mayor, police chief, college president, school principal, corporate CEO: key people can quickly turn a hate event into a positive community experience. They can muster support. They are quoted in the news. They set a tone, direction and good example 8. THINK LONG RANGE Create a “bias response” team. Hold annual events, such as a parade or culture fair, to celebrate your community's diversity and harmony. Build something the community needs. Create a website. The best barrier to hate is a tolerant community. After a hate crisis, we recommend turning a crisis team into a long-term tolerance committee. A small group of committed people can build a moral barrier to hate or at least create an atmosphere in which hate outbreaks are rare. 9. TEACH TOLERANCE Bias is learned early, usually at home. But children from different cultures can be influenced by school programs and curricula. Sponsor an “I Have a Dream” contest. Target youths who may be tempted by skinheads or other hate groups. Bias is learned in childhood. By the age of three, children are aware of racial differences and may have the perception that “white” is desirable. By the age of 12, they hold stereotypes about numerous ethnic, racial and religious groups, according to the Leadership Conference Education Fund. Because stereotypes underlie hate, and half of all hate crimes are committed by young men under 20, tolerance education is critical. About 10 percent of hate crimes occur in schools and colleges, but schools can be an ideal environment to counter bias. Schools mix youths of different backgrounds, place them on equal footing and allow one-on-one interaction. Children are also naturally curious about people who are different. 10. DIG DEEPER Look into issues that divide us: economic inequality, immigration, homosexuality. Work against discrimination in housing, employment, education. Look inside yourself for prejudices and stereotypes. Sooner or later, any tolerance effort bumps up against issues that will take more than a neighborhood to solve. Peeling away the face of hate reveals a country with deep, systemic and unresolved prejudice, discrimination and intergroup tension. In any city and state there are dozens of problems to address: hunger, affordable housing, elderly isolation, domestic violence, school dropouts, etc. A caring group of people, having coalesced to deal with hate, could remain together to tackle any number of community chores and societal problems. |
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Foster and Adoptive Care Association
of Minnesota |
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