Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a loving relationship and an abusive one,  especially if you have experienced abuse and poor relationships in your past.  When people are abusive they are taking control to hurt you. You deserve to be healthy and safe in your relationships. If you answer NO to any of these questions, talk to your foster care provider, social worker or call

1-800-992-2600 Domestic and Teen Violence Hot Line.

Acts of dating violence happen again and again in different ways. It’s not the same as getting angry or having fights. In a violent relationship, one person is afraid and intimidated by the other person who may:

• Play mind games.

• Take your money.

• Ignore your feelings.

• Force you to have sex.

• Prevent you from practicing safe sex.

• Control what you do.

• Punch or slap you.

• Call you names.

• Force you to drink, smoke or do drugs.

• Harass you at work, home or school.

• Threaten you.

• Make you check in whenever you are apart.

In your dating relationship:

• Can you express yourself without being judged?

• Can you talk about anything without fear of being hurt or put down?

• When you don’t agree can you find middle ground or negotiate or compromise?

• Can you choose NO sex or safer sex without being accused of cheating or not trusting?

• Can you hang out with your friends or family whenever you want to?

• Do you feel comfortable expressing yourself?

• Are your personal goals and activities supported?

• Are you shown affection in non-threatening or non-abusive ways?

If you answer NO to any of the above questions you may be in a relationship that is not healthy. The person who is abusing you may seem like two different people - loving some of the time and mean some of the time. Most people want the relationship to continue and the violence to end. This can be confusing and may make it harder to know what to do.

Teen dating violence occurs everywhere and to all kinds of teens. Twenty-eight percent of students experience violence in a dating relationship. Most victims find that as a relationship becomes more serious, dating violence gets worse. Reach out. Get help!